The Golden Rules For Feelings, And Other Thoughts In Verse
CS Sherin, 09-10-2019, edited 9-11-19
are neither good or bad… they just are. If denied they become like exiled mice burrowing and hiding in hidden places of the psyche and body, indefinitely. Only when they are felt and named can they be released and resolved… even if it takes 50 years, or more.
If there is no room for certain feelings they can get squeezed out sideways in unintended words or actions that may inflict lasting harm… a lot of times upon those undeserving and most loved. Or we may express inappropriate emotions at inappropriate times because we were never given permission to show certain feelings, like sadness, fear, or anger.
Feelings are like babies or art… they are so often a surprise, an experience created and flowing through us without effort, a full human experience… emotions provide a needed function that each of us is responsible for…even while others may come to their own interpretations about it.
Feelings are. All the feelings are natural, honest responses to whatever we are experiencing. Sometimes they seem ugly and wrong, sometimes they are harsh and exaggerated, but truth is they are what they are… and everyone has all of them no matter how repressed and denied they may be. Sometimes the full gamut of emotions haven’t been felt or experienced, but the potential remains the same within each of us.
What is important, essential, absolutely necessary is to look at our feelings and name them, especially the difficult or enigmatic ones — whenever we can, no matter how clumsy or tentative it seems in doing so.
Feelings, ultimately are meant to be felt and then fade…let go of in the moment, and recycled into other energy and actions that are needed in each moment.
If we cannot let a feeling go it becomes something else… a thing, a force that we consciously or unconsciously choose to feed and hold onto… like a depraved zombie that is treated like a beloved teddy bear — it will surely cause malfunctions and other problems both subtle and obvious.
If it is hard to let go of a certain feeling it may require really listening to and responding to the feeling, or it may mean that one feeling is dominating as a defense to hide a deeper feeling that was or is less acceptable to us or to those who influenced us.
Look at your feelings, name them, and let them go. Let it be natural. Let it be like a passing moment.
No bird ever soars by holding on.
Truly, real and needed fear can keep us alive, and generate enough kinetic energy to fuel needed responses to real danger and emergencies: like running, rescuing, putting out fires, fighting for our lives, and so on.
Best we don’t hold onto it. Best we listen to it and respond. That allows the natural flow into needed actions and new feelings and experiences.
Real and needed anger can alert us to the fact that our boundaries are being disrespected, someone is being harmed, or that we need to say no, because we are allowing ourselves to be taken advantage of, and we are giving too much. And, it can tell us that the other person cannot be trusted, and shouldn’t be at this time. The anger serves its purpose… we feel it, we listen to it, name and understand it, and respond to it appropriately, and then, move on. Anger too, can give us new energy to act, to respond, to create positive change, movements for the good, and new creations. Anger doesn’t mean ugly. It means something productive needs to happen, adjustments need to be made. Deep breathing helps.
As emotions flow through and out of us channeling difficult ones into actions and words that do the least harm, is most preferable. Seeking to channel difficult feelings can contribute to health and creativity.
It is a choice to be responsible and transform pain and difficulty into something helpful and healing, or at least something that brings greater health and balance to self… rather than creating more, and unnecessary suffering.
In anger I have created some of my most beautiful art. Channeling emotions with creativity can be surprising, refreshing, renewing. It can lead to great things.
Easy feelings are easy. Difficult and layered feelings can be quite hard and uncomfortable.
Rage and terribly sad can be much harder. Along with resentment, jealous insecurity and many other challenging emotional states brought about by many dynamics…
Norms make some of these unacceptable to feel or express, except when channeled into energy that bypasses perceived weaknesses…
Feelings range the gamut and can be easy to handle, feel, name and let go of unless we have been in places in circles where we were made to feel over and over and over that certain feelings are wrong and bad or that there is no room for our feelings or that feelings are inferior or too big, or too much trouble… there are so many ways that our culture has manipulated, exploited and exiled feelings, while also neglecting to teach healthy processes for them.
Some of us grew up being told without words that there will be no support for our feelings (trusted caregivers did this, as was done to them)…or that some feelings are forbidden. This is like telling someone that peeing is forbidden. The pee is going to come out sooner or later. Seen or unseen.
Feelings are an automatic and natural response to experiences and situations.
Some of us received love when we expressed pleasant emotions and then likewise, love was withheld if we expressed anger or other “ugly” feelings.
Some natural feelings became confusing, hard, forbidden.
There were so many unspoken judgements and snares like barbed wire for our automatic, natural emotions to navigate, all the while our brains weren’t fully developed.
Drugs and alcohol often step in for so many of us to alleviate, numb, or mask the difficult feelings and exile, and the resulting anxiety and depression produced by such a dysfunctional culture that has developed and upheld such corrupt systems that discriminate and silence among other things, natural functions necessary for healthy development, comprehension and coping skills.
Stress can be living in an environment that denies and forbids difficult feelings in public and community settings, while also setting up media forces that feed on stagnant, underdeveloped, unhealthy held-on-to emotions.
Seems a stage set for devolution, really.
We have a right to our feelings. Just as it is a basic right to go to the bathroom in a healthy, sanitary way. We don’t have a right to piss on others and to take out our pissed off state on others. Dealing with others who are doing this, or being cold and vicious can be just as challenging to handle.
We have a right to our feelings and there is only one over-arching golden rule:
While feelings are neither good or bad… when you are old enough to understand and respond, you are 100% responsible for your own feelings and how you handle them.
The GOLDEN RULE has many parts, but it is all one understanding and code: We honor our feelings, we take responsibility for our feelings, and we take every measure to refrain from causing harm to self or others due to our feelings. We find ways to express our feelings in healthy, honest, creative ways. We refrain from holding on to feelings, and instead, we let them flow. Except, with an anger that is unreasonably lit with threat to harm, we engage our breath, logic, and exercise — we engage all manners of detaching from the lit rage, as needed, so that it does not become unnecessary harm and suffering for others and self.
We are most true when we realize: No one makes us feel a certain way. We experience our own feelings, through our own experiences and lens of perception. Likewise, we aren’t responsible for other people’s feelings. Still, we can share a healthy detachment that seeks to acknowledge and honor the feelings of others, as needed, in order to address something important. Then, we let the feelings go, and move on… all the wiser.
Yet, we are present and in relationship with all that is. This is amazing, and good to orient ourselves in this way — beyond the mundane, while also remaining rooted in facts of reality — as we know them so far!
This is what we call perspective on the grand scale…thanks to astronomy.
Perspective is personal and subjective. And, it can change suddenly, with a new experience, new thought, and by getting distance from things we have become too mired in.
As an artist, I find that when I work on a piece, sometimes I become too close to it, and lose perspective — much like a teenager focusing too much on one feature — losing all perspective on actual proportion and objectivity. Often, I need to walk away from a piece of art I am working on, stand at a distance, look at it upside down, and even put it away for a while in order to see it with fresh eyes, and as it really is. When I do that, then I can appreciate it, and know what it needs…or that it is done.
Differing perspectives can grant us new glimpses of reality that we hadn’t considered. This can actually shift our mindset and cycle of thoughts and habits for good. Perspective can give us space to breathe, imagine, and create anew.
If you did the breathing and smiling exercise at the beginning, and then read the astronomy “you are here” facts, did that change your mood and perspective in any way?
Our minds can too often fixate and replay old thoughts and stories without taking in enough of what is happening — what is real now — along with the scale of our experience in relation to time and space. Breaking out of these kinds of mental ruts and confines can mean opening ourselves to new thoughts and points of view, literally, figuratively, and through movement, like travel. All of which, have the potential to renew, refresh, strengthen, and make us wiser.
Perspective can release undue pressures, and refocus our attention on facts of core, maybe overlooked, importance. Astrology has the potential to provide all of those benefits that come with new perspective.
Mysticism and Symbolism
While astronomy is able to give us that amazing perspective on the grand scale, as demonstrated at the beginning of this article, astrology accomplishes this as well — just in quite different ways.
In-depth astrology is able to touch on the deeper dimensions of life and being, without losing touch with concrete reality. That is pretty impressive.
The deeper meaning found in astrology asserts that we matter, and have a right — a place (birthright) in the scheme of things in this galaxy — whether we have power, wealth, recognition, privilege, or anything else or not. This is fertile ground for symbolic and archetypal self-exploration (the microcosm reflecting a macrocosm) and mysticism.
CS Sherin, WildClover.org
Symbolism and mythology are (and have always been) a basic foundation in all schools, cultures, eras, and approaches to astrology, worldwide. It has also always been a way to frame existence with archetypal energies and patterns.
The 12 Astrological Zodiac Signs
The twelve zodiac signs, used in western astrology charts, are largely rooted in names and stories that come from Greek, Roman, and even Babylonian and Egyptian mythology and symbols.
The western zodiac signs are symbols based on the zodiac constellations, yet they aren’t the same thing. The zodiac was documented by ancient astronomers, many of whom were also astrologers at the time. Astronomy has since moved well beyond the twelve signs used in astrology.
Please note: astrological signs aren’t astronomy’s constellations. Astronomy charted constellations are numerous, vast, and literal. The astrological zodiac signs are symbolic, limited to twelve (sometimes a hidden 13th), and are related to our point of view from Earth. Astrology’s signs aren’t real in the astronomical sense — they are symbols. The 12 zodiac we work with are found along the Sun’s passageway across the Earth throughout a year’s time, which is called the ecliptic. Astrology is personal, in that it relates directly to our little neighborhood in this solar system, from our point of view (with the exception of Heliocentric calculations, which is from a solar point of view). The narrower focus of astrology, in this case, doesn’t at all limit the depth, potential helpfulness, and relevance of this esoteric tool.
The Astrological Birth Chart
The birth (natal) chart is the foundation for most every kind of personal report in astrology — from current transits, geographical relocation, relationships, events, and birthdays. The astrological birth chart is an imprint of us, our total life here, from the vantage point of our geographical placement (latitude and longitude) and time of birth entry on this planet, and again, in relationship to some of the main heavenly bodies in our little solar system neighborhood.
The birth chart contains personal potentials in the many areas of our lives — from the deep to shallow, personal to public, daily and routine, to the mystical and esoteric. It covers self, relationships, home, work, and so much more. The planets, stars, and other heavenly bodies used in astrology are utilized as symbols in ways that have the ability to enrich and awaken our point of view. In this way, this tool has the great potential to help us to gain new perspective about ourselves in detail, and our greatest potentials related to possible life trajectories.
In addition to the 12 zodiac signs, mythology and archetypes, western astrology uses:
Symbols: elements (earth, air, fire, water), modes of dealing with change and collaboration (fixed, mutable, cardinal), and yin or yang energy
Aspects, orbs, and degrees: which are dynamics of energy and calculations, based on degrees of relationship between heavenly bodies and our time and place of birth
Ancient to modern methods/calculations based on the heavenly body’s relation to when and where an individual (or other event) is born on Earth, down to minutes, latitude and longitude
The Birth Chart Itself Is A Symbol Of Wholeness:
The chart is a mandala (circle) that is divided into 12 sections, called houses, which represent different areas of life, from the personal and private to the public and transpersonal
The calculation of the astrological birth chart is the basis for all other calculations and reports made in astrology
The birth chart is relevant for the individual’s lifetime, and covers nearly every important area of life with some surprising detail
The birth chart encompasses a lifetime, therefore time is represented (past, present, potential future), yet it is also timeless — filled with spectrums of layered potentials, strengths, and challenges
A Timeless, Timely Enigmatic Tool
Astrology is an incredible timely, yet timeless tool, which can illuminate many things, including: influences, patterns, cycles, inheritances, and dynamics in our now, in our past, and even our potential future. The main heavenly bodies (planets, asteroids, mystical points) in our solar system — in western astrology — represent qualities of: personality, lessons, patterns, cycles of energy, phases, and time, as well as dynamics and tendencies related to mythology and universal archetypes. Truly and mysteriously, the planets and other heavenly bodies lessons and qualities amazingly mirror our particular and specific inner and outer realities in perplexing, yet accurate ways. The tool is complex and layered, and compelling.
In looking at only one or two aspects of a birth chart, like the Sun sign, Rising (ascendant) sign or Moon you may gain some important understanding (with enough and the right information), yet the big picture is missed, and key facts may be misinterpreted. This can be due to other areas of the chart that are more dominant or strong. This can significantly change an interpretation and understanding.
For example, I had a client that was an earth Sun sign, but never felt it was accurate or applied to her. It wasn’t obvious in the Sun, Moon, or Ascendant, but she was actually predominantly a water person, with all of her other planets in water signs. When I explained her natal chart to her in a consultation, she found relief and happiness in hearing, finally, aspects of her own experience mirrored accurately for her in the astrological interpretation.
Experiencing the in-depth interpretation of a birth chart is a fascinating, mystifying perspective, and so interesting to experience and share. Every client I have had for consultations has been so surprised at how fast time flies when exploring one’s own chart.
Key Things To Remember About Astrology
No belief required. It is just like how we have no need to: believe in a paint brush, a wrench, or in clay in order to use and benefit from any of it. It is just like how we don’t need to believe in meditation in order to practice it, and benefit from it.
Astrology is a spiritual tool that can provide pivotal and helpful insights, which come from interpretations of symbols in relationship to each other, which are based on astronomy, mythology, and earth-based symbols, patterns, and cycles. Astrology has an ancient history and is diverse, and has had, and still has, universal use and value.
As I said, there is no need to believe in astrology in order for it to be useful. Likewise, a responsible astrologer will discourage you from allowing transits, retrogrades, and other astrological knowing to: control or dictate your life, create unnecessary fear or drama, or interfere with your freedom to choose and act in your own timing.
At the same time, knowing gained by transits, cycles and patterns in the present, and from birth charts, can help us to make more informed and autonomous decisions for our lives and spiritual development, and can affirm things that we feel and know deeply, but rarely get to discuss or acknowledge.
Astronomy VS Astrology?
How About A Holistic Vision Of Both/And:
Instead of lumping astronomy and astrology together, and instead of comparing them as loosely related practices, I find that it is much more reasonable, true, and fulfilling to abandon the either/or approach in favor of a more holistic both/and approach.
They are different disciplines, yes, and each has a different way of seeing and interpreting life and being. As they ought to. A shaman or priest/ess is not the same as a scientist. Yet, a person can be both a spiritual leader/practitioner and scientific. BOTH of these aren’t mutually exclusive within an individual or in life, AND they are necessarily different and separate practices and states of mind.
Astronomy is a scientific discipline that gathers and develops information, research, evidence, discoveries, theories, and facts about our physical existence on Earth, in this solar system, galaxy, and universe. All of the information and exploration, as well as the images, and growing knowledge about the true nature of our universe is the result of a legacy from ancient astronomers. Ancient astronomers evolved into what modern astronomers and scientists now provide. It is captivating and inspiring to learn about and explore. Astronomy certainly has the power to lift us up into breathtaking and mind-boggling new perspectives. We need that!
Despite the adversarial and dismissive tone taken by some (not all) scientists and astronomers about astrology — astrology does remain, and stands strong as being useful and relevant. Some may call astrology a pseudoscience or placebo, in order to distance themselves, while asserting a specialized authority (that is overstepping its bounds, actually). However, none of the belittling going on changes the fact that: astronomy does enrich the ancient and vast traditions of astrology, yes, AND can never replace it!
As someone who has overcome great odds with the help of creative and spiritual tools and techniques, I understand the importance of spiritual practices — meaning, ritual, and the rich sacred value of symbolism, intuition, and imagination. There is also great value found in ethical science, logic, and critical thinking.
I refuse to abandon either one. We don’t have to.
A holistic approach and vision means that science and spirituality don’t have to agree, speak the same, or see the same…AND neither one can, or needs to, replace the other. They are individual and part of a whole, which is much bigger than either one.
Finding meaning in life matters. Most of us need some sort of deeper meaning and context in order to enrich our lives, and experience fulfillment — we often don’t limit that deeper meaning and context to one discipline, genre, or perspective. At certain times and ongoing in life, I, and many others have found astrology to be useful and helpful in that way.
Our intelligence (emotional and intellectual), and our spirit (energy and consciousness) thrive when we are able to place meaning, and a deeper sense of purpose into the fabric of our lives — while also addressing, in real ways, what is broken, what needs to be faced, and what needs to be encouraged — in order to begin or continue healing. Astrology has the potential to do this, and this is how I use and share astrology.
Our ability to work with symbols, mystical aspects of life, and apply deeper meaning within scientific claims and discoveries is a part of our unique perspective and being as humans.
CS Sherin, WildClover.org
Free Will, Fate, And Improvisation
As human beings, we have free will, choice, action, instinct, common sense, intuition and presence. This is despite qualities and energies that seem to be or are, in some sense, fated or fixed. We are not bound by fate entirely, in life or in astrology — even though there are some fixed dynamics in life and personalities.
For the most part, l i f e is an improvisational dance…unpredictable and changeable.
Maybe what is really needed, is to discipline our thoughts and emotions; practice awareness, and exercise our sacred imagination for collective and personal benefit and enrichment. If this is true, it is good news, as long as we are willing to face and take responsibility for our shortcomings, continue learning, growing, and respond and act on the information we are given in the best ways possible — unique to each of us. That means looking at our blind-spots, wounds, and shadow qualities as much as our gifts, talents, and amazing potential. This is how I use and approach astrology, and it serves my clients and me well.
This also means doing the work we are meant to do seriously and earnestly. Still, it is important to not take ourselves or each other too seriously! Good humor is essential. Good humor helps us to endure challenges and hardships, maintaining sanity and balance. The best comedians illuminate what is wrong in a way that awakens and frees us, via real heart, mind, and belly laughter. The best comedians touch on truths that jolt us into really and joyfully seeing how weird we and life are, and the dysfunctions that we deal with in our culture. Good humor relieves some of the pressure points of pain, and gives us space to breathe and clarity to see, process, and address it anew. Any discipline, from the scientific to the mystical, can benefit from maintaining humor and letting go of a seriousness that not only judges, but dismisses what it doesn’t focus on as false, or empty.
An Ancient, Diverse Legacy
The history and use of astrology in conjunction with astronomy has been going on since ancient times. Astronomy and Astrology were one in ancient times — identical twins, in a way — who later parted ways (circa 1400–1700). Astrological tradition has continued in different ways throughout history and around the world: Egyptian, Hellenistic, Indian, Chinese, Greek, Roman, Indigenous, Renaissance Europe, and probably more. Each had, and has, their approach and system/rules for calculations, perspective, and symbolism. None are the one-dimensional, shallow, commercialized versions that grew from consumerism and commercialism. Some were based on superstitions and religious beliefs. And some are rooted in deep wisdom and ancient insights.
There are esoteric, evolutionary, humanist, classic, modern, ancient, and many Indigenous/First Nation/Native systems and schools of thought for astrology. There is the Heliocentric (Sun-centered, using Sidereal zodiac) or Geocentric (Earth-centered, using Tropical zodiac); differing ways to calculate houses, varying degrees for orbs, and much more that shapes and defines reports and interpretations . There are countless origins, approaches, technical details, and facets to astrology.
For example, one school of astrology is Jyotisha, also known as Hindu (Indian) astrology. In more recent history, the Western world calls it Vedic astrology. Hindu beliefs about karma influence Hindu astrology. Also, Hindu astrology uses the Sidereal zodiac. In contrast, Western astrology usually uses the Tropical zodiac and is influenced by western culture.
In ancient times, astronomy and astrology were most often united, rather than separate. Religion and mythology were integrated with the mathematical calculations and observations related to the night sky. The ancient figures were often holistic — the healer, herbalist, shaman was also the scientist, astronomer, botanist.
Hellenistic (525 BC) Egypt: conquered by Persians, Mesopotamian influence
(332 BC) Greek/Roman: Alexander the Great, Greek influence mixed with Babylonian (“Chaldean wisdom”), Horoscopic, and Egyptian
Ptolemy (140 AD)
Aztec (1300 AD)
*Western history has no firm dates for Indigenous star knowledge and teachings, yet there is an established legacy among Nations and tribes around the world, that belong in ancient BC, before or like — the estimated Sumerian, African, and Irish astronomy origin dates.
The countless approaches in astrology differ greatly, even within one school of thought or system of calculating.
Astrology has ancient roots globally, and it endures.
The global longevity, with room for different viewpoints, methods, new discoveries, adaptations, and approaches — is evidence of its ongoing usefulness as a tool for personal development. It is a tool with which we can seek to be more aware of being present and informed, and directly connected to and aware of some universal qualities, cycles, patterns, and potentials — to all that is.
In whatever way that each of us gains new and expansive perspective, it is a gift that aids in our enrichment, well-being, and development — and that ripples out to others.
The sky is the most expansive physical reality we experience in this life. Becoming curious and interested in the many ways we can nourish our lives in relationship to it, the better!