Changing Our Habits For The Greater Good

Ethical Leadership for all, and shifting our thoughts and actions in healthier, empowering ways that last

Art by Warwick Goble, PD

CS Sherin, August 27, 2019

After I earned my MA degree in Servant Leadership in the Spring of 2006, one of the major lessons that stayed with me was the understanding that real change — the kind that is ethical and accountable, the kind that lasts — does not happen overnight — it takes time. For an ethical leader (and the average person seeking to change destructive habits and live more ethically), this means being dedicated to the best possible outcome and positive impacts for all involved. It also means caring more about long-term results than about immediate satisfaction. This requires thoughtful, engaged patience, and an understanding of the time and timing required for real, lasting change to be established and maintained over time.

Impatience, shortcuts, quantity over quality, greed, abuse of power and control, and leaning on loopholes and convenience ultimately degrade long-term progress, health, and sustainability. Although we may enjoy and see short-term progress by doing these things — in most cases, that kind of progress won’t last, and if it does, it will be riddled with compromises and harm to health, esteem, ethics, and healthy communication and systems.

For example, when we first bring a fish home to the aquarium, there may be an impatient desire to get the new fish into the aquarium right away. If we give in to that selfish impatience without gradually acclimating the fish to the new water and temperature, the fish can go into shock, become injured, sick, and/or die. Sometimes the shock and subsequent illness or injury from that initial impatience won’t be immediately visible — it may happen days later or a month later, but the harm was done. Taking the 30 minutes to 2 hours or longer, that a new fish may need to acclimate to the new environment makes all the difference.

So it is with cutting corners to achieve something — it can give the satisfaction of visual completion and short term satisfaction, but at what ultimate cost to integrity, quality, health, and future ability to thrive?

We also need to make space in order to fully evaluate and receive feedback on current: needs, communication, delegation, processes for feedback, efficiency, transparency; and inclusivity of processes, systems, and structures.

At the same time we need to take the time to evaluate ourselves (as leader, or leader of one’s own life) alongside the work, project, team, and/or organization. Ultimately, we cannot administrate, manage, or lead effectively — we cannot change destructive habits, and systemic problems — until we have addressed ourselves and our own inner workings honestly, and as objectively as possible. No matter how far we’ve come, the need for this practice remains true.

How can we, as ethical leaders/individuals, best serve our purpose, the people we work with, our teams and/or those in our care?

The leader sets the tone. The leader establishes what is acceptable and not acceptable by: tone, actions, style, methods, policies, presence, and follow-through. To effect real, positive, lasting change we must be willing to do the kind of work and collaboration that establishes new pathways in place of familiar, comfortable, dysfunctional ones. We must be willing to see systemic privilege, and to see past assumptions that run on autopilot.

The ethical leader asks, “How can I best serve my purpose, my employees, clients, and/or customers now, and for the long haul?” and “How can I create a healthy, thriving system that is sustainable, transparent, and ethical for the long haul?” The real answers require extra effort, time, and resources. The real answers also include knowing the importance of creating effective teams, supporting them, delegating with clarity, and then walking away with trust and knowing. Then, being free to address the big picture issues while the details are left in capable hands that report back.

There are many steps involved in getting to that point. Yet, the results? The results may not be evident right away. It depends on how healthy or not healthy things are to begin with. Yet, the payoff for long-term transformational change is: greater satisfaction, productivity, creativity with better results, and a system of collaboration that is strong and can last.

But how do we get there? We have to start with ourselves. All of this is applicable to each of us. We are the ethical leaders of our lives, or not. We are the administrators of our lifestyles and habits.

When we keep our standards high and inspiring, we have motivation to do better: personally, independently, and in collaboration. When we instill standards of healthy communication and effective, responsive accountability and pathways for it — we begin to build lasting systems for positive change. Even if we need to work quickly with intense deadlines, there are still ways to implement systems within culture and operations that are ultimately healthier, refreshing, sustainable, and invigorating for the long haul. We simply must stop and take the time to establish them, so that intense deadlines become an enjoyable, exciting challenge rather than hellish and draining.

All of this is applicable to each of us. We are the ethical leaders of our lives, or not. We are the administrators of our lifestyles and habits.

In the face of challenges and setbacks, the patience to grow real lasting change remains a core value for the ethical leader. The big picture is not lost, the big goal is kept central during setbacks. And, core motivation includes knowing that: facilitating healthy restoration of systems eventually translates into returns and legacies of lasting value. In this same way, each of us may apply these values and practices, in order to navigate and wield the authority of leadership for our own lives, and increasingly, in the best ways possible.

Begin With Yourself: Understanding Habits

This approach and these lessons are adaptable and applicable for most everyone. But where to start? We want to begin the long, demanding, and worthwhile, rewarding path by being aware of and changing our own habits and autopilot blind assumptions/norms. By beginning this process on the personal level, we may then effectively respond to changing needs, emergency situations, and a troubled human world and Environment in flux.

To do this, we must first grasp what habit really is. Creating a habit demands a considerable investment of our time and energy. Much like Artificial Intelligence requires tons of data in order to learn, grow and operate well — human habits are also established by tons of repetition and concerted effort in order to become autopilot functions.

“Habit” is defined as: “something done often and regularly; a behavior or action repeated regularly so as to have become automatic.” Some synonyms for habit include: routine, pattern/norm. The idiom, to be “on automatic pilot” can be defined as: “completing a task without awareness or thinking because it has been repeated so many times that the function is automatic.” With autopilot in this sense, the meaning also connotes a degree of unconscious, mindless behavior.

Many parts of operating and driving a vehicle become habitual — we go on autopilot with many aspects of driving. We also operate with a good measure of trust for the maps in our memories that help us to navigate in the area in which we live without much, if any, thought. It is much the same in navigating and operating within our homes and at work each day. Some of us have mental memory maps so well-defined and subtly present in our neural pathways that we can even walk with our eyes closed (or in the dark) and find our way around the house (or neighborhood) with little to no problems.

In “Primal Leadership” by Daniel Goleman, the author explains how habits form strong, rigid neural pathways in the brain. These pathways are solid and resistant to change. Yet, the author reported, it was discovered that those pathways can be altered and changed — however, it takes a lot of conscious effort and persistence to succeed in doing this. Repetition is the key to creating a habit (healthy, neutral, or destructive) and to set a more fixed pathway in the brain, and therefore, in one’s life. Anyone who has developed a somewhat destructive habit can attest to the effort and determination required in order to alter that habit.

Inner Peace Matters

Art by William Blake, PD

One necessary component for making change that lasts is to achieve a complete sense of resolve about the change that is needed.

A resolute belief or motivation is the fuel that transforms a habit. Being free of any conflicting feelings or beliefs regarding the needed change is quite necessary, in order for any of the effort to succeed for the long-term. If even a quarter of our mind and/or heart is conflicted about changing the habit, the effort will most likely fail in the long-term. Most often, it would happen via subconscious and subtle sabotage, or a very conscious and clear defeated or jaded attitude.

People may turn to hypnotism and visualizations to undo self-sabotaging behavior that is resistant to the desire to change. Sometimes this is successful, sometimes it isn’t. Deep down, the knots must be untangled, with visualization and hypnotism, or through other methods and modalities. However it is done, the deeper issues of conflicted feelings, thoughts and beliefs regarding the habit must be found, faced, and resolved consciously.

Psychologists often say that a bad habit often continues because a person is gaining something from it, even when they say they want to stop. Perhaps an unconscious bit of the person likes the negative attention, or ties it to something learned in childhood. Sometimes, there is a hidden sentimentality, judgment, pride, or sense of entitlement attached, no matter how veiled. Whatever it is, we have to be willing to face and evaluate our own inner workings and inner saboteur as we seek to change habits and lifestyle for the better. It is essential that we search our own thoughts and feelings regarding any needed change that must take place. Right along with this searching, is prioritizing time to process issues, and to begin to enter into the needed change with deeper resolve.

During and after that, asking for feedback from honest and trusted others is also important. It is important to choose to hear feedback from those who will tell the truth, not what we want to hear — yet also those who care about us and want us to succeed in these positive changes. In this way, we gain perspective and new ideas. It is an ongoing practice of transparency and accountability — first in relationship to self, and then to others. Here is an example for perspective. Please read it both literally and figuratively:

Yard Restoration

I have moved into two different houses where the yards needed restoration. The first had been treated by pesticides for years, but had fertile soil, and lots to work with. It took about three years for the yard to fully recover — and became a thriving oasis of native plants and a refuge for wildlife. The second also had been treated for pesticides at one time, and the soil was greatly depleted and mostly sand. This yard has taken longer to recover, and still can’t fully recover without amending the soil. A big leap to lushness and progress was not evident until five years had passed. That being said, I am no expert in restoring yards, and I do the little by little approach in that regard. Additionally, this second yard hasn’t been a main priority like the other was. In aiming to restore the second yard — without expertise, or a lot of dedicated time, or a lot of invested money/resources — the long term results took longer.

Someone once told me that when they moved in to their new house, their yard had been treated yearly with pesticides as well. They took an intensive approach, investing resources into immediate change that would improve year after year. They had all the grass removed and planted clover as a ground cover instead of grass. This ground cover is organic and provides food for bees, and requires little, if any mowing.

While I didn’t immediately invest in overall change for the second yard, I did effect overall change in one way. Without pesticides and herbicides involved, I was able to allow pollinator ground cover to take over naturally. This took longer, yet it worked well. I allowed the plantain, clover, violets, and dandelions to spread, while planting native plants, and allowing them to propagate naturally as well.

Consciously Changing Habits

Art by Warwick Goble, PD

In committing to needed change through ongoing self-reflection regarding thoughts, choices, and habits — we will be able to maintain a vivid and thriving approach that is more in tune with current and changing needs and realities. In addition, we are then able to be in tune more authentically to who we are, and who we are becoming. This can serve to boost confidence, mood, and motivation. This also then, translates into new ways of approaching leadership, management, care, and facilitation for others.

Our thoughts, once observed, reveal much. In observing and evaluating our thoughts, we see, little by little, or all at once — what we have left to autopilot each day. Most likely some of it will be unwanted, outdated, and perhaps even counter-productive to our well-being and most desired goals for life and work. Some of it may not even really be ours, but expectations and distorted voices that belong to other people (from the past or present), and that were put upon us. We can take that weight off once it is observed for what it really is.

After we make progress personally — re-shaping, discarding, and transforming some of our thoughts and habits — the ongoing approach remains the same. We begin by observing and evaluating our thoughts and actions each day. We maintain a list of questions for ongoing self-evaluation check-ins. Are we:

  • Contributing to positive long-term goals with our daily thoughts, habits, and actions?
  • Noticing and consciously choosing which thoughts are maintained?
  • Happy with our personal process and the results?
  • Noticing and addressing details, feelings, needs, inspiration? or ignoring them?
  • Noticing harmful elements, ingredients, or dynamics? or ignoring them?
  • Making the most of the choices available each day?
  • Allowing ourselves to remain in a rut of looped thoughts?
  • Allowing ourselves new options, new thoughts, new approaches?

With ongoing discernment regarding our thoughts, habits, and daily actions — we are instilling healthy, conscious pathways that can better empower ourselves and others. Another example for this process is my book, Recipe For A Green Life. It is a complete guidebook for this kind of holistic process, focusing on lifestyle and sustainability.

All of this requires a dedication to some amount of life-long learning. Finding pleasant ways to maintain interest and curiosity regarding the “who, what, when, where, how, and why” of anything we are choosing and putting our energy into is most helpful. Personal choices (at home, at work, and beyond) — from the smallest, and most overlooked, to the biggest — all matter, to some degree, and at some level. Start small, start big — start however this all works best for you, and continue in whatever ways and at the pace that allows you to keep going in the right direction. Consistently showing up in this way helps us to more easily stay current and healthy, and more primed to facilitate the process for others too.

Truth Telling

It can be, and is important that we share our process and discoveries (when we can, and as appropriate) with straightforward honesty, integrity, and reasonable kindness. Sometimes the truth is ugly though. Do we wrap it in kindness? Whenever possible, yes. Still, absolute gentleness at all times is not possible or realistic. There are exceptional times when even kind honesty can feel harsh. And there are times when being too kind and too forgiving is a disservice to ourselves and others.

The standard mode of operation for the ethical leader is: to establish trust with honesty, that is upheld by integrity and kindness. Even better, if that honesty, integrity and kindness is accompanied by impartial ethics and wisdom, which remain unswayed by status or privilege. Being a truth-teller can make us very lonely at times, especially when others are playing games, and don’t want to play fair or to be healthy. However, as a leader, being a truth-teller is the highest calling. And ultimately, that is rewarded with connections and teams of integrity and advanced skills. That is what takes us to the next level. And, that is why the ethical leader must be a truth-teller — and with values for kindness, integrity, and impartial wisdom at the helm. This comes from having lived it — by having the ongoing practice of self-evaluation that creates the integrity in the first place.

By dedicating ourselves to this considerable, yet worthwhile and rewarding effort, we make progress in real time, and that grants us a warranted hope in momentum and strength, which is gained by right action.

May we all go forward more mindfully, shifting to more healthy, productive habits and leadership on all levels. May these new and healthier collective thoughts, habits, and right actions increase exponentially, and dynamically contribute to a great healing and new positive pathways for the future and all life on Earth.

Being An Artist: 10 Big Little Lessons Just About Anyone Can Benefit From

Photo by CS Sherin, 2017.

CS Sherin, April 25, 2019

I walk the line between environmentalist and artist, fact-checker and mystic, activist and present moment being. I walk the line between critical thinking and faith in things that are unseen. And, the importance of realizing the miraculous within the ordinary and mundane is not lost on me.

“Lunar” by Chandra S Sherin, 1999. Monotype ghost: ink and watercolor.

With so much to navigate with mindfulness and discipline, I was fortunate to have an amazing art mentor at university who walked those same kind of lines, and who walked with me for a time. He took me under his wing, and helped me to mature as an artist and spiritual-seeking being. The most important things I learned from creating art at university remain relevant and core to my passion to this day. These are my ten biggest lessons about being an artist, which I have whittled down to this summarized little list:

  1. Art requires ongoing content. To create we must have: an ongoing impulse and need to create, ideas and perspective, and dedication to return again and again to blank objects (paper/clay/canvas/found object/etc.) and the various stages in between started and finished. If we don’t have these qualities, we will not be able to be an artist.
  2. Make big mistakes, not a lot of little ones. When a mistake is made in a work of art, that mistake must ultimately be embraced as a part of the process and piece. However, we need to dedicate enough energy and focus to doing our best and maintaining an awareness for most possible issues. This is to prevent a work riddled with so many little mistakes that compromise the purpose and effectiveness of the piece. Lots of little mistakes are much harder to track, fix or redeem. A big mistake is much easier to learn from and integrate into a process. A big mistake most often leads to better and more joyful ways to create and work in the long-term. Embrace the big mistakes: work with them and grow from them.
  3. Stick with the piece you are working on. When we draw or paint, for example, we may end up erasing or changing a lot of what was originally intended. Mistakes, layers, and reworked parts are not reasons to abandon a piece. Keep them. The work and layers may not ultimately be visible, yet keeping them creates a palpable energetic history that lives in the piece, as a work of art. It is also a conservation of materials. Instead of abandoning a “messy” piece for a fresh start, value the process and keep the layers as a living history, whenever possible.
  4. Distance, perspective, and time apart are all important. All the stages involved in creating, honing, and resolving a piece can leave us enmeshed…too close to the work to maintain useful objectivity and purpose. If the piece is not resolving and we begin to dislike what we see, it can become absolutely essential to know when to: get up and stand across the room to look at the piece from a distance off and on, turn it upside down and/or sideways to work with it from those angles, and to put it away and take some time away from it — in order to come back a day, week, month, or a year later — to see it with fresh eyes that are more able to appreciate it, know what it needs, or…that it is done, and it is great.
  5. Pay attention to both positive and negative space. It is not enough for us to observe, notice and draw the object or being in front of us. We must see what isn’t there, energy, and the empty space around that object and being as well. Until we recognize negative space and how it rests and moves around objects and beings, something will be missing from our work. This practice facilitates a more disciplined and objective process for still life drawings and paintings. It is also important to move back and forth and up and down throughout the process, rather than focusing on one small area at a time.
  6. Seek balance in completing tasks and challenges. We may give ourselves a challenge, and work so hard on accomplishing it, that what should be easy and straightforward becomes neglected — of poor quality or effort. Spread the effort and quality to every layer and task. Even if one part is daunting, don’t let it take importance away from the rest of the work. Hold every part of the work as valid and important.
  7. Art is necessary. An artist doesn’t create art in order to sell it. Earning money for art is payment for the result and quality. This is not the motivation for the act and practice of art. Artists create art because they must create art. The artists I most respect are the ones who go about their lives, always creating, with or without opportunities for public attention and sales. Selling and displaying art in galleries is not the point of creating. For us, art is necessary — an innate part of self and being — that takes many forms. Art is also necessary for the non-artist: it is therapeutic, enriching, informative, healing, supportive, challenging, and elicits various emotions and new thoughts.
  8. Be honest and kind. When we praise someone for the art they have created, it needs to be because it genuinely impacts us. Being nice is not the same as being kind or honest. We don’t need nice. We need vision, feedback, and perspective. We cannot grow as artists if we are not able to give and receive constructive criticism. Just make sure the constructive criticism is kind and honest. There is no reason to be brutally honest. We don’t need meanness either. Almost any true statement can be said with compassion. When we don’t know enough about art and creating, or the specific genre and medium, then we need to include that in our feedback. Honesty, real feedback, and kindness are all important.
  9. Set out to make something ugly. We need to challenge ourselves to put intense feelings and energy into making art that is ugly. Not only does this release us from crippling patterns of perfectionism, it also releases us from the restrictions of expectation and conformity. In addition, sometimes in seeking to create something truly ugly, we instead create something intriguing and new. Some of our most beautiful work may be inadvertently created by channeling the energy of anger or grief. While aesthetics, symmetry, and pleasing creations can and do have importance, it can be more important to leave all that at the door, in order to allow our emotions and raw energy to create without restriction. This can lead to hidden doorways of creation: new approaches and techniques.
  10. Consider context and need. This is a broad topic, but I will summarize three main aspects. One, there is always context, meaning, and need to be found as model and inspiration in Nature — no matter what medium or genre we work in. Two, we need to consider how our materials, use, and waste affect our health, collective health, and Nature — and adjust what we are doing, as much as we are able. There may be no ideal solutions, but some choices are better than others. Three, consider saturation level for the topic and genre. Do we really need to create another version of something that has been made over and over for decades or centuries? We must ask ourselves: do I have something different, unique, valuable to say? Is this practice? Is this something bigger? What is the intention? Is there a need for it?

This article is dedicated in loving memory of Peter Fletcher.

CS Sherin, Wild Clover | WildClover.org 2019©